Saint Valentine's Cubed
by CrystallineMaple
Summary: For Valentine's Day, Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio set up a matchmaking booth at school. Of course, things don't go as planned. Not only are they in over their heads with customers, but their services are drawing the attention of some of the school's more corrupt students... Multiple pairings.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Inspiration was delivered to me - literally - through a spam email for a dating website. Funny, huh? Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

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><p>"I've got it!" Antonio Fernandez Carriedo exclaimed suddenly one Friday afternoon. He and his two best friends, Francis Bonnefoy and Gilbert Beilschmidt, were hanging out at his house, playing video games and stuffing their faces with snacks.<p>

Francis paused the game and looked at his friend. "Got what?"

Antonio grinned. "You know how eleventh and twelfth graders can make Valentine's Day booths to raise money for the Student Council?"

"Uh, yeah..." Gilbert took a sip from his drink. "So? We agreed when we were freshmen that we weren't going to participate in some dumbass fundraiser thing. Besides, even though I'd be one of the awesome co-founders of the booth, it'd still probably suck."

Francis nodded. "We don't need to do a booth. It isn't required."

"Just listen!" Antonio protested. "What if we did a matchmaking booth?"

"Matchmaking?" Gilbert snorted. "Toni, that is the stupidest thing ever. Back me up, Francis?"

Francis paused. "I don't know, Gil... I am a connoisseur of romance... it's not a bad idea. But it would take a lot of planning, non?"

"Huh?!" Gilbert's exclamation was noisy and frustrated. "But a Valentine's Booth at our school is _sooo_ much work! I was talking to some juniors last year, and they said it took them, like, all day, and we can't break that pact we made when we were ninth graders - c'mon, guys? Really?"

"Let's do it," Francis agreed. He addressed Gilbert's dropped jaw. "You don't have to do it with us. Toni and I can manage fine by ourselves. I know, I know. I can"-

"I'll help," Gilbert interrupted. "Like I'd let you two idiots do this without me!"

Antonio looked pleased. "Thanks, guys. I can pick up a form for a booth on Monday. Since that's January twenty-seventh, we'll have more than two weeks to plan and run the booth."

"Valentine's Day is on a Friday this year, then?" Gilbert asked, making a mental note.

"Yes. Great, isn't it? Our final business day will be a Friday," Francis said.

"I know what we could call it - Bad Touch Trio Matchmaking Services!" Gilbert offered. "Awesome, huh?"

Francis and Antonio exchanged a 'Let's Not Let Gilbert Make ANY Important Plans or Else We're Screwed,' look, and Antonio shrugged. "I don't know. The name is kind of..."

"Oh, what about... 'Saint Valentine's Cubed?'" Francis asked.

Gilbert nodded. "Yes. Not as good as my name, but I suppose we can do it. Now, guys? Let's go back to this game, cuz I'm about to kick your asses."

"Oh, no you aren't, mon ami..."

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><p><em>Valentine's Day Booth Official RULES and REGULATIONS:<em>

_- Each booth must have at LEAST one junior (eleventh grader) OR one senior (twelfth grader)._

_- Booths may be opened as EARLY as February 1st and must close by February 14th (or the school day closest to that date)._

_- No inappropriate material or services are allowed._

_- Sales must go to the Student Council (minus money needed to buy specified supplies)._

_- All Valentine's Day Booths will be set up in the Media Center._

_- You must have a booth form and you must have it filled out and turned in before you can open your booth._

_- Failure to follow these guidelines will result in the removal of your booth._

That following Monday, Antonio read over the guidelines, filled out his form, and turned it in. He met up with Francis and Gilbert in the cafeteria. Gilbert was complaining about a test he failed, and Antonio was reading a script for Drama Club. Antonio said hello and sat down at their usual table near the big windows. "What's up?"

"Did you fill out the form?" Francis asked, sticking his papers into his bag.

"Yeah. Saint Valentine's Cubed is in and ready for business - or we will be on February first," Antonio added quickly.

"How exactly are we going to match people up?" Gilbert questioned, looking up from his bombed test grade. "Are we just gonna shove them together and say, 'Hey, I think you two make a pretty cute couple?' Because that doesn't seem very... very..."

"Romantic?" Francis filled in. "Of course not. I had an idea - we could offer different services. Like if you wanted to be set up on a blind date, we could do that. If you wanted us to deliver chocolate or roses or a note to someone or something like that, we could do that. If you wanted love advice, we could do that. You know?"

Gilbert made a face. "This love stuff makes me sick. Combine it with too much chocolate, and it's a recipe for vomit. The kind that burns your throat, like"-

Francis gagged. "Shut up, Gil!" He waved his pastry dramatically. "Not while I'm eating. Or _ever."_

Antonio shrugged. "I think it's a good idea. You'll have to give the love advice, Francis, even if it's totally terrible."

"We could charge maybe ten dollars for a blind date, fifteen dollars for a delivery, and ten dollars for advice?" Gilbert suggested. "Seriously, though - half the school was born and raised with Euros. Why can't we use those?"

"We live in Americaaa," Antonio sang, causing Gilbert to roll his eyes and spit something in German.

Francis laughed. "Do you know anyone else who is setting up a booth?"

Gilbert considered this. "Um, Mathias Køhler and Lukas Bondevik are doing something. I think Elizaveta Héderváry, Mei Xiao, and Michelle Mancham are doing a kissing booth."

"Sure," Franics snorted, skeptical.

Gilbert's cheeks turned red. "A bake sale, actually. A baked goods booth."

"You just said a kissing booth because you wish you could kiss Elizaveta," Antonio teased. Gilbert hit his friend on the side of the head, his face burning.

By the time the lunch period was over, Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio had everything planned out, and even Gilbert was feeling excited. Sure, they were in eleventh grade, and twelfth grade booths usually got a bit more attention, but not very many people were doing booths this year, so theirs would surely be a hit.

Besides, love and romance and that kind of stuff was Francis' expertise, and Antonio was good at maintaining relationships, and Gilbert could work things behind the scenes and keep track of the money - what could possibly go wrong?

Well, when you and your best friends have a name like the 'Bad Touch Trio' or the 'Bad Friends Trio', things might not always go so smoothly...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Please enjoy and review! The BTT are in eleventh grade in this story. If you're confused by which grades people are in, they all follow the format of my other story The Confidants' Club, if you're reading that. Also, Gilbert's wearing 'hipster' glasses. Yes. Deal with it! (He thinks he's cool, y'know.)

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><p>"A matchmaking booth?" Elizaveta asked Gilbert, wrinkling her nose. "You really think that's going to work?"<p>

Gilbert looked at his friend with an exasperated expression on his face. "Of course. People at this school - they eat up OTC shit like ice cream."

"Whereas my booth might actually be selling ice cream. So, uh, what's 'OTC'?"

"A 'One True Couple'... c'mon, Liz, aren't you all into this weird love fangirl talk?"

The Hungarian giggled, flicking Gilbert's forehead. "It's 'OTP', Gil. 'One True Pairing,' you dumbass."

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><p>February 3rd, the first school day of February, rolled around quickly. News of the Bad Touch Trio's matchmaking booth had spread like wildfire through the school, and several people had requested advice appointments and flower deliveries before the booth had even officially opened.<p>

Things were going very well. Francis' cousin owned a flower shop, so they were able to get dozens of boquets cheap, cheap, cheap, and Francis claimed he had done extensive online research for his love advice clients.

On the first day of the Valentine's Festival, Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert met in the library in the morning to set up the booth. As they were sorting through roses and paperwork and other useless items, Mei Xiao walked up and cleared her throat.

"We aren't open yet," Antonio said. "Didn't you hear that booths are only allowed to operate during lunch?"

"I have my own booth - why would I not know that?" Mei asked. "Anyways, I heard you all are doing deliveries. Like flower deliveries?" The Taiwanese student eyed the massive pile of bouquets stacked up behind the Saint Valentine's Cubed booth.

"Obviously," Gilbert said, arranging a stack of papers.

Mei nodded, biting her lip. "Well, what about delivering chocolate, too?"

Antonio paused, a confused look on his face. "But we don't have any chocolate."

"Yeah," Mei agreed, "but we do." She pointed across the library to her booth, where Michelle Mancham was sorting rows of Valentine's brownies, candies, and cookies. "So, what do you say? Want to combine the powers of Saint Valentine's Cubed and the Bake Sale? Only for sugary deliveries, of course. We could split the profit evenly."

"Hmm..." Francis nodded. "Why not? We'd get more money."

"It's just for Student Council, though," Antonio replied. "We should be happy to earn any money."

"The booth that makes the most money gets fifty dollars per person working the booth," Mei said. "Incentive enough?"

The Bad Touch Trio had an eye-contact conversation, and Francis turned back to Mei. "Sure. We'll work with you all. So, who else is going to open a booth?"

"Well, there's you guys, then there's the Bake Sale, which is Elizaveta, Michelle, and me, and Lukas and Emil are going to open a photo booth, but not for a week or so. And the Vargas brothers are doing a kissing booth, did you hear? But it's a one-day-only thing on actual Valentine's Day."

Antonio's jaw dropped. "Lovino's going to participate in a _kissing booth?" _

Mei laughed. "Yeah, I know, weird, huh? Well, I'm going to get back to my booth so that we can sort everything before the bell rings. Later, Saint Valentine's Cubed." With that, Mei headed back to the other side of the library, reporting the conversation to Michelle, who was spreading red and white icing onto a batch of cookies.

"I can't believe it," Gilbert said.

"I know!" Antonio exclaimed. "Lovino in a kissing booth?"

Gilbert snorted. "Dummkopf - I was talking about the fact that we've got allies! This is turning into a real business. God, I'm getting gray hairs just thinking about it..."

Since they could only work the booth - which was really just a table with a poster reading 'Saint Valentine's Cubed' on it - during lunch, the Bad Touch Trio agreed to take turns eating, serving customers, and recording information.

Francis had the honor of getting to open the matchmaking service for the first time. And when he did, the first client was none other than...

Arthur Kirkland.

The sarcastic British junior slapped a ten-dollar bill on the table and scowled. "I need a date."

"Not with that ugly sneer," Francis retorted, putting the money into the metal cash box the Student Council had given them. "Whatever. We can find someone for you... I hope." Francis marked a paper. "Any requests?"

Arthur's face turned red. "Re-requests? Uh, no."

Francis smiled pleasantly. "Okay, then! I'll set you up on a date with my very good friend Ivan Braginsky..."

"Be serious, you wanker!" Arthur hissed, standing up.

Francis waved a hand. "Oh, calm down. I'm just kidding. Um, let's see... you're the first customer, but I'll see what I can do. But first, you must say it. 'Francis Bonnefoy is the best, most amazing, attractive in the world.'"

Gilbert snickered, taking a sip from his _hipster_ Starbucks Caramel Macchiato, adjusting his _hipster_ glasses and fixing his plaid _hipster_ scarf. "Francis, don't torment the clients, please? Danke."

Francis rolled his eyes. "Where's Antonio? Whatever. Well, Arthur, we'll find you a date by February 14th, don't worry. And it won't be Ivan, I promise."

* * *

><p>During the forty-five minute lunch period, several people had requested blind dates. This wasn't a problem. Except for Arthur.<p>

Though Arthur and Francis argued a lot, Francis really did want the best for his friend. Antonio had rolled his eyes and said, "Set him up with whoever," but Francis -

"Earth to Bonnefoy!"

"Gil, you scared me!" Francis snapped.

The Prussian - Gilbert called himself Prussian because he said he was 'too rare to be German' but 'too awesome to be dead' - laughed. "It's time to go home. Why, what are you thinking about? Arthur?"

Francis grabbed Gilbert's scarf and slapped him. "No!"

"Hahaha, suuure. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bright and early to sell some more shit!"

Francis stood up and gathered his stuff. He hadn't even realized class was over. "Yeah... bye." Francis watched absently as Gilbert walked out of the room, checking his Instagram feed and humming a Franz Ferdinand song under his breath.

Francis followed Gilbert out the door, feeling determined.

It wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but he was going to find the perfect person for Arthur.


End file.
